Thursday, August 25, 2011

Not much new is going on. Tyler went back to Ashland... makes me so sad. I hate him being so far from home! But I am really proud of him- he worked his butt off this summer, saved some money, bought all of his books. And he wants to go on a mission trip next year... so he has totally set up a St. Pattys day triathlon @ Ashland to raise money for the trip. I mean he did sooo much work for this thing. He created a website, is still in the process of getting sponsors, opened special bank acct, created the event course, designed t-shirts, arranged for food/drink supplies, etc. I hope I will be able to go and volunteer-passing out food & drinks or something. I am just so proud of him!
Levi has resumed school, 7th grade!!! Oh my! Where has the time gone? I just cannot believe my baby is in jr. high. He's not a baby anymore.... 5ft 1 inch! Before you know it I will be looking at him eye to eye. He is really starting to grow. He still tells me he loves me when I drop him off at football, I hope that never ever changes :) I am excited to see how this school year goes... hoping he does well with his schoolwork, he became so independent last year and did soooo much better. It all of a sudden wasn't the struggle it used to be- thank God, because Lord knows that me helping him wasn't much help at all, lol. I worry about math, but I am sure he will be just fine.
Jess is working at a coffee shop in Tipp, it is gorgeous! I walked in and thought... this is what I want my home to look and feel like. It's beautiful! She really likes working there alot. Low stress that you don't take home with you- I can relate to that one. I think she will miss her students though, we'll see. She has all of a sudden become "crafty" and I love it, makes me laugh. She's turning into me. Except she is far more creative. She's refinishing an antique desk, making shelves and different wall art from old things. I am happy to see her doing this because Tyler always got credited with being the artistic one, when secretly she is too. She draws and paints as well. I just think it's so good for her to express that part of herself. LOVE IT!
Zack is still working at Home Depot. He's been getting full time hrs, so thats been really good. He has had several interviews, but no luck. The job market just pretty much sucks. I feel bad for them- college degrees and loans... and nothin! I hope he is able to find something soon, don't think he really likes working there so much. But at least its a job for now.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

What a day today! I woke up so happy, ready to accomplish the world. I tried to work on my budget... after 3 hours of trying to download some kind of table or spreadsheet (that wasn't working out) I was growing quite frustrated and stressed out. And really, who wants to stare at their bills for that long? hahaha. I also forgot to take my pain pill, so the chest pain started again. For those of you who don't know, I went to the hospital Monday for chest pain, and that doesn't describe at all how bad it was. I was begging God to get me out of my body... it felt like I was being stabbbed in the chest (we're talking 7 hrs of this total) with every little breath or movement. Ends up I have pericarditis and a pericardial effusion (fluid around my heart & heart lining inflamed probly from a virus because I also had NO immune system, my counts were just about zero). Anyhoo, then I got into my car, stepped on the gas, and as I was turning/ backing up I crashed into Jessi's new car! Really? Did that just happen? I did a good job though... my car was rendered undriveable! Which was fantastic for my Dr appt that I was clearly going to be late for now. So, after saying alot of really bad words- I mean real bad, kicking the driveway, crying, and having diarrhea- because this isn't the 1st time I've wrecked my car this way :) and how in the world am I gonna tell Paul I did it yet again............ I quit for the day. I was just done. I took a shower before my appt and just sobbed, didn't even really wash myself. Just stood there crying for like 5 minutes. I know I'm always preaching to look at the bright side, blah, blah, blah... but I just wanted to crawl in bed and go back to sleep.

BUT, there is a silver lining here... I needed to get my car looked at because the left front side/wheel was shaking... was probably something pretty expensive so I've been putting it off... and because I was turning while backing out (at a high rate of speed) I happened to smash my ENTIRE left front side, including the door, front panel, tire! So, my theory now is that it was a blessing in disguise... it'll only be $250.00 for my deductible, instead of possibly hundreds. hahaha. I am laughing now, but it surely was not funny earlier.

Anyway, just wanted to update you that my appt went SO good! My blood counts are back up... actually in normal range! woop! woop!Thank you neupogen shots! So I am fricking outta isolation! Thank you Jesus, I couldn't stand one more second of that damn mask! I had holes in the dumb things from licking them constantly to poke them out of my mouth. My plateletes are still dropping really low, but whatev... can get a transfusion for that- easy fix. My point to all of this is... the chemo I got last Mon (Alimta) has officially kicked my ass. I have no bone marrow reserve and cannot tolerate it... so THANK GOD IN HEAVEN I got the new chemo pills or I'd be sol without a paddle right now and have absolutely no options to keep fighting. And THAT is my silver lining today too.... I was totally letting dumb, nonimportant "stuff" overwhelm me and got all stressed out (which is usually so not me). When really, all we can control is our reaction to life/people/circumstances. So I'm back on track- carpe diem! It was actually really nice- Jess, Wyatt, and I had a nice dinner at Bob Evan's after my appt, talked alot. Then Sarah & Eric stopped by for a visit and we did some back deck sittin. And the bottom line is I am so blessed that I have those little pills in my hand (thank you anthem) and as soon as my platelets come up I can start to fight again! YAY! super duper YAY! I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness that I got em!

Sidenote..so when Levi dropped Tyler's less than 1 yr old laptop off the counter tonight and it doesn't work now, I just took a sip of my margarita and said.... "Don't say another word, let's just save that for tomorrow." LOL!!!
p.s. Paul didn't act mad at all, but the poor thing has celiac blisters all over his face & I know it's stress cuz he has been so strict on his diet. He can try to act strong and hide it, but the body doesn't lie. God bless him... it's never a dull moment with me, and not in a good way, lol. I love that man and I hope and pray for some calmness around here before he has a heart attack! I better knock on some wood STAT!