Medical update:

Cancer Treatment Center of America was a bust! Well, not totally... they were very nice and treated me in a way I hadn't yet experienced with regard to healthcare. It was a very happy, positive place to be. But, like everywhere else, they didn't really have anything else to offer me because thymic cancer is so rare and pretty much noone knows what to do. Turns out I am not a candidate for theraspheres or radiation to my liver because there are too many tumors. So... plan B!!! Tomorrow (fri) I am starting another chemo. Going back to the 1st round of chemo I ever had. Which I'm stoked about actually. It is the only treatment I got that put me into remission... and it has been long enough between treatments that I can do it again. Downslide is that it is 3 chemos that are kick ass- as in kick my ass! lol. So I am just praying with all my heart that it does what it did the first time, therefore worth going through. Oh, and I will be bald again :( I am so, so sad about that- but it is what it is, so I just have to chin up, bandana on, and take it one day at a time!!! I will get it every 3 weeks if my body/blood counts can take it... so here goes! Once again, LET'S ROLL!!!

p.s. All my thanks to God for this option :) I pray I will feel it burning the crap out of my liver and destroy whats trying to destroy me. May God work through my doctor, nurses, and medicine to heal my body. amen.

I AM SO FRIGGIN EXCITED!!!!!! I spoke with the people at Cancer Treatment Centers of America today (I finally have insurance that covers them woop! woop!) and I am filled with a brand spankin new sense of hope and encouragement. I don't know why, because the good Lord knows I have been steadfast in my faith, but I feel different in my heart of hearts right now. I actually believe I can be healed of this cancer, I don't know if I will be, but I- for the first time- REALLY believe it's possible. Okay, I am sooo out of control with thoughts at the moment... let me stick to the CTCA deal. First of all I will be going this month, hopefully in approximately 2 wks if we can get all the records, blah blah blah. You should see my file by the way- it's ridiculous. I don't think I've ever seen one so thick, hahaha. It doesn't even contain all the papers properly, they need to start vol 2 before the binding breaks. I'll take a pic of it with my cell phone next week so you can see what I'm talking about. Well, if I can remember! Secondly, the guy I spoke to on the phone was very uplifting and hopeful. And that was such a great feeling, to be talked to with hope. He was talking about treating my whole body, spirit, and mind so that my immune system can be at top form to be able to fight the cancer. He talked to me about stress management (counseling and massages for both Paul and I etc), receiving pastoral care,having a dietitian consult for nutritional counseling to fight the cancer (which I am totally big into right now), acupuncture, seeing a medical oncologist, surgical oncologist, radiation oncologist, a naturopathic Dr. for vitamins, supplements, and herbs that my body needs (specifically for my body based on blood work they will do). Yada yada yada... it goes on and on. I am so excited about all of this because I do know that in order to heal myself from this cancer my immune system has to be restored, as well as my spirit and my mind. So... the unexpected news from my phone consultation was this... I may (or may not) be a candidate for a fairly new treatment for liver cancer. Greeeat, I can't remember what it is called. Hold on, Zack just got up and told me... therasphere! hahaha, wow, I really have some serious short term memory problems. Anyhoo, they run a catheter from your groin into your hepatic artery and inject up to 8 million tiny glass spheres loaded with yttrium that go directly to all of the capillaries feeding my tumors and radiate the crap out of them!!! heeheehee. It makes me giggle an evil little laugh to think I may have another option still available that could destroy or seriously stun my stupid tumors!I just visualize that happening and I am so so happy. I would love nothing more than to zap all those invaders! THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE!!! All I ever hear is, "palliative care," or "it's about the quality of life," or "we can try 1 chemo at a time and see if anything works" (looking at me with sad, puppy dog, I'm so sorry eyes) Wellll, HA! I might be a candidate for a whole lot more! I'm not going to managed by pharmaceutical companies alone anymore! There is hope for me yet!!! Yay! super Yay! Super thank you Jesus! I hope you will pray for me (and pray hard!) that they will be able to do that therasphere stuff to my liver. And I will be praying for guidance and wisdom on my new little path I'm taking. I hope that God will use this place/journey to help me find a new way of life :) One of COMPLETE trust and without fear! Fear has got to go! And I know better! Oh my gosh I can't wait to get there! There is an additional bonus as well- it will be a nice trip & alone time (noooo kids!) with my man! We haven't really had that since Galveston during the summer 2010. It'll be sooooo nice! Wow, I just really can't believe that I may have another treatment option! This is so exciting! I hope with ALL of my heart and soul, and I pray :) because through Him all things... ANYthing is possible!

One more thing really quickly... I was on the CTCA website and saw that they also provide reiki therapy! All I could think of was the Modern Family episode when that reiki freak (imposter) was living in Lily's outside playhouse. Bahahahaha! So I don't think there is any way I could ever have that done on my trip! Omgosh that show makes me laugh!

So, I just got home and I shouldn't have had that cappuccino at The Cheesecake Factory, I am wired! What a great night!!! Jill and I met Kim Dewey and Dianne Clark (she's in from L.A.) for dinner... it was so wonderful to see them, it's been a couple of decades I think. Love those girls and it was so good to laugh so much. My gosh, Kim's memory is freakish. I love hearing about things I would never have remembered for the rest of my life. But that is pretty much a daily basis for me as I can't remember yesterday, lol.
Well, Christmas was wonderful! I got a new Shark Steam Vac- LOVE IT! And a beautiful family tree necklace, a food processor to puree my veggies, a Bed & Breakfast gift from my kids for Paul and I. Oh, and Santa brought us a dual mic karaoke machine with 60 top hits cd!!! Now the kids can listen to me sing really loud, and let me tell you I have a great singing voice! hahaha. It was overwhelming. But the best part was giving everyone their quilts I made. But poor Levi... thank God he knows the truth this year, because I forgot about filling the stockings. That was bad enough... but (oh it gets even better) then after we were all done unwrapping presents I asked Levi if he was excited about his new X Box games... he said he didn't get any. After a couple of hours (I couldn't remember where I hid them) I finally found them, along with all of his other presents that I forgot to wrap!!! Later that evening when I watched our video I realized that while the rest of us opened gifts, Levi just sat patiently watching. OHHHHH MY GOSSSHHH!!! Worst feeling ever! Mom of the year! lol. He was so sweet though, never said a word and was thankful for the couple gifts he had opened. Now that is totally chemo brain because I have never and WOULD NEVER EVER do that! I'm just so thankful that they could laugh about it. And Levi was so, so sweet. He was saying that it was ok, he got plenty. He was probably thinking- it sucks that there isn't a Santa and on top of that my parents forgot me! I'm sure I will probably never live this one down!
This has been such a good time though. I love having Tyler home!!! I have missed him terribly since he's been away at college. And Paul and I have been going on dates which I love. Jess and Zack got a house- awesome! I am so happy for them. It's only half a mile away thank God! Because I am pretty attached to my little,ok not so little, baby Wyatt. I babysit him, so he's like pretty much my world every day. He has grown so much and I love watching his little personality develop. He's going to be a little wild man I believe. I just love little boys, and that one has my heart for sure! I think my favorite thing is when I rock him to sleep at nap time and we both hum until he falls asleep. If I stop humming he cries. He has to be rubbing either me or a soft blanket with his fat, little hand. It just melts my heart. This week I got him a swimsuit and shark hat for next summer. I will upload the pic later. I can't wait to introduce him to our pool. He's going to be a lil water baby. Ahhhh, summer! I wish it were here. I know I said earlier I couldn't wait for snow, to build an igloo & snowman, blah blah blah! What a bunch of crap! I'm totally over it. I hate being cold and I miss being outside. Spring can't get here fast enough! At least I have some plans to look forward to though. In February we are going back to the cabin for a long weekend at Brookville Lake with Tim & Anne, Jim & Peg, and Lisa & Phil. Then the BOMB Squad is packing up and taking a road trip south!!! How fun will that be?!? For those of you who don't know- bomb squad is a group of local friends/moms that we formed a few years back. It stands for band of moms bonding (or getting bombed together lol) We used to get together on a regular basis and have pajama parties and get-togethers with NO kids or husbands! We all have our code names/alter egos and it's a blast when we get together. So many different personalities and lots of laughs. I can't wait to go on this trip!
Well- it worked! I am so sleepy now. Will sign off and post again soon with some pictures. Night night :)