I AM SO FRIGGIN EXCITED!!!!!! I spoke with the people at Cancer Treatment Centers of America today (I finally have insurance that covers them woop! woop!) and I am filled with a brand spankin new sense of hope and encouragement. I don't know why, because the good Lord knows I have been steadfast in my faith, but I feel different in my heart of hearts right now. I actually believe I can be healed of this cancer, I don't know if I will be, but I- for the first time- REALLY believe it's possible. Okay, I am sooo out of control with thoughts at the moment... let me stick to the CTCA deal. First of all I will be going this month, hopefully in approximately 2 wks if we can get all the records, blah blah blah. You should see my file by the way- it's ridiculous. I don't think I've ever seen one so thick, hahaha. It doesn't even contain all the papers properly, they need to start vol 2 before the binding breaks. I'll take a pic of it with my cell phone next week so you can see what I'm talking about. Well, if I can remember! Secondly, the guy I spoke to on the phone was very uplifting and hopeful. And that was such a great feeling, to be talked to with hope. He was talking about treating my whole body, spirit, and mind so that my immune system can be at top form to be able to fight the cancer. He talked to me about stress management (counseling and massages for both Paul and I etc), receiving pastoral care,having a dietitian consult for nutritional counseling to fight the cancer (which I am totally big into right now), acupuncture, seeing a medical oncologist, surgical oncologist, radiation oncologist, a naturopathic Dr. for vitamins, supplements, and herbs that my body needs (specifically for my body based on blood work they will do). Yada yada yada... it goes on and on. I am so excited about all of this because I do know that in order to heal myself from this cancer my immune system has to be restored, as well as my spirit and my mind. So... the unexpected news from my phone consultation was this... I may (or may not) be a candidate for a fairly new treatment for liver cancer. Greeeat, I can't remember what it is called. Hold on, Zack just got up and told me... therasphere! hahaha, wow, I really have some serious short term memory problems. Anyhoo, they run a catheter from your groin into your hepatic artery and inject up to 8 million tiny glass spheres loaded with yttrium that go directly to all of the capillaries feeding my tumors and radiate the crap out of them!!! heeheehee. It makes me giggle an evil little laugh to think I may have another option still available that could destroy or seriously stun my stupid tumors!I just visualize that happening and I am so so happy. I would love nothing more than to zap all those invaders! THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE!!! All I ever hear is, "palliative care," or "it's about the quality of life," or "we can try 1 chemo at a time and see if anything works" (looking at me with sad, puppy dog, I'm so sorry eyes) Wellll, HA! I might be a candidate for a whole lot more! I'm not going to managed by pharmaceutical companies alone anymore! There is hope for me yet!!! Yay! super Yay! Super thank you Jesus! I hope you will pray for me (and pray hard!) that they will be able to do that therasphere stuff to my liver. And I will be praying for guidance and wisdom on my new little path I'm taking. I hope that God will use this place/journey to help me find a new way of life :) One of COMPLETE trust and without fear! Fear has got to go! And I know better! Oh my gosh I can't wait to get there! There is an additional bonus as well- it will be a nice trip & alone time (noooo kids!) with my man! We haven't really had that since Galveston during the summer 2010. It'll be sooooo nice! Wow, I just really can't believe that I may have another treatment option! This is so exciting! I hope with ALL of my heart and soul, and I pray :) because through Him all things... ANYthing is possible!

One more thing really quickly... I was on the CTCA website and saw that they also provide reiki therapy! All I could think of was the Modern Family episode when that reiki freak (imposter) was living in Lily's outside playhouse. Bahahahaha! So I don't think there is any way I could ever have that done on my trip! Omgosh that show makes me laugh!