Hi everyone! I haven't posted in awhile... this chemo is really kicking my butt. I have just been so tired, the recoup time is getting longer. But today I feel great. (Thank you God!) It's so gorgeous outside, I hope to actually accomplish something today! And hopefully take Levi fishing and then to Night Sky for dessert when he gets home from track. That was the plan yesterday but it didn't happen. And I feel so guilty/bad when I don't feel good and can't follow through on my promises to him. That is a really hard thing to be ok with. So, anyhoo.... this weekend we went to Tyler's triathlon and I DID IT!!! I walked 5K!!!! wohooo! I didn't think I was going to be able to beforehand- but Sat was a good day and I felt totally normal. I have spent the past 3 days in bed afterward, but hey, got it done and had fun doing it! It was great... Laura, Connor, Hollee and her clan, my cousin Karla (and Mike & Brittney) were there too! I can't say how much it meant to me that they came. And I can't say how proud I am of Tyler for putting the whole event together. Just beaming inside! So, after the triathlon they held a St. Baldrick's shavathon to raise money for children's cancer research... for which Levi and Connor shaved their heads. It was hilarious to see Levi mid-shaved with a hula skirt!!! I was like, Oh my gosh... fast forward 20 years ladies!!! hahahahha. Cracked my butt up! It was really creepy to see him looking like a 60 year old!hahaha. Still making me giggle. And I had an epiphany while we were there... I'm bald and I finally don't care. I saw 2 young college girls shave their heads and I thought to myself... wow- to be that young age and not care what people think, to CHOOSE to shave their heads! If they can do THAT (and still be absolutely beautiful btw) then I'm done being insecure in public!!! I don't care about the stares anymore. I am done wearing my dumb bandannas and hats!!! (unless it is cold) I mean seriously Janet!!! Why have I been torturing myself? My head itches so bad when I wear them, beside the fact that I have hearing loss from chemo and when my ears are covered I really can't hear worth a crap! Then throw hot flashes (yes they are back with a vengeance) in the mix... and I am left wondering why I would put myself through that. Just so noone looks at me strange or pathetically?!? I'm over it. So, if I feel insecure... I will think about those girls, and that picture Ally put up on fb with the cartoon of all the Disney girls rocking it bald, and about every other woman out there who is fighting for their life, and remember that hair really doesn't matter-like AT ALL. I don't know what happened to me this time, I was so ok with it before. I guess I just loved my hair so much when it grew back, I remembered how it felt to feel like a woman, pretty. It was hard to let go of it again. I have to laugh though, because out of the blue last week Levi came up to me and said, "Mom, I think you look so much prettier bald. I didn't like that puffy, curly hair. It didn't look like you." He made my day!!! Thank you Levi! Gotta love kids for their honesty.

I've got to go so I get something done.... have a great day! Oh, 2 more things real quick- Jenni is coming home from WA next week!!!!!! I cannot wait to hang out with her! I wish I could see that girl all of the time! I love her so, so much and she keeps me laughing. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!!! Also, I am scheduled for follow-up pet scan next week. YUCK! I don't wanna know!!! I am not going to get the results until the following week so I can have a great time with Jenni. Will post when I know... although it's a mute point to me. It is what it is, so who really cares what the scan says. I am so over scans lol.