Jenni and me!
I am back from the dead, at least for now. I am hoping today is better. I've had the life sucked right out of me. And I guess I wasn't expecting it to hit so hard, because #2 was so easy. To quote Forrest Gump (kinda), "chemo is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." I am so glad I feel ok right now. It has been awful. Especially yesterday, it was Jessi and Levi's birthday and all I wanted to do was take them to Night Sky for a dessert and spend time with them. Couldn't do it. I couldn't do anything but lie there. Although I did manage to make them each a birthday card before they woke up, so mission partly accomplished :) My friend Angie took Levi for me and then she made them a yummy red velvet cake, she is SO SWEET!!!! Love you angie! And my other friend, Jenni W has stayed with me for 2 days, THANK GOD!!! She drove across country from Washington state with her daughter and dog...just to be with me for a month! She has been exactly what I have needed. I cannot put into words the love I have inside for her and the gratefulness I have that she has been with me through this. I can't imagine if she weren't here. Thank you John !!!! (her wonderful husband) John, you will never know what a gift your selflessness means to me! I don't know what I would've done without her! I cannot believe how my children have grown. Jess is so beautiful. I am amazed of the woman she has grown in to. Ahhh, I just love that baby girl to pieces! And Levi is 12!!!! Say what??? My baby...he's a tween. Hard to believe. He is so funny, that kid keeps me laughing. And he is so gentle and sweet when I'm not feelin so hot. I thank God for his little boy hugs. I am excited to watch him change & grow. But I am just horrified that he has to go through all of this though, at such a precious time, such a young & confusing age. Makes me so sad beyond words. I just ache for him & what he is experiencing. It is so hard as a momma, I cannot protect my kids from this. I guess all I can do is try to teach them how to handle things, and try to teach them faith, grace, and dignity. Anyway, no more "negative Nancy!" Enough of that! Then, this morning I started thinking about Ty..and I feel kind of panicked, he will be leaving for Ashland University Aug 11th!!!!!! That is less than a month! NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I am NOT ready! Not my little Bubby! Although I know he is ready & excited to go. lol. Normally his leaving would be all about me, falling apart, feeling like my life is over (thats what happened when Jessi left) but now, with this whole cancer thing, I am actually excited to be here and watch him spread his wings! Yes, selfishly I never want him to leave, I want to be a mommy with kids at home forever, but I am sooooooo excited for him and his life. Ty is a beautiful soul and I am happy I am here to be his biggest fan! I think it will be kinda awesome too, to have something to look forward to & be really excited about...him coming home to visit! We all need something in the future to be eager for! Jeez, I am chatty Kathy! I am going to go SEIZE THE DAY... I am going to take a shower since I have only had 1 since last Thursday. That is just disgusting!!! lol. Hope this good feeling lasts!!! And to whoever reads this...have a great day today!
You are amazing Janet! There's something to be said about a woman who has raised such wonderful kids and still lifting them up when you feel so awful. I am learning so much about how to be a better mother, wife, and all around better person from you sharing your feelings and experiences. Thank you...and as always, you are in our prayers constantly.
ReplyDeleteWendy Bair
Dear Janet
ReplyDeleteIs there blog etiquette in regard to reading others posts? Hopefully not because I coud not agree with Wendy more... I mentioned a couple of days ago about benifiting from Mark Twains perspective but Janet you kick Twains bum. Seriously Wendy, so eloquently stated and so deservingly true. Not to mention Paul and John and their superior spousal roles.
Thought this was humorous and one you might enjoy.
~An Atheist and a Bear~
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.
“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the casue was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out “Oh my God!….” Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?” “Very well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ….. brought both paws together…bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”
Much Love and Happiness.